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Life is like chocolate...sometimes you gotta deal with nuts.
Love makes the world go `round, but alcohol makes it spin.
You poor thing. You don`t even realize you`re batsh!t crazy, do you?
Yadot rorrim eht fo edis gnorw eht no pu ekow I. (I woke up on the wrong side of the mirror today.)
How did the inventor of the clock know what time it was?
You`re not laughing out loud. You know it and I know it
I get nervous after taking time off work, that in my absence my boss will realize how little I actually do at the office.
I hope to get to the point in my life where Iām not excited about finding change on the ground.
If you think buying condoms is awkward, try returning them...
have you ever noticed `lol` looks like a drowning person?
"Don`t try this at home"...Okay, i`ll try it at my friend`s house..
If I could turn snarky sarcasm into a paying job, I could be employed for infinity.
Lazy Rule#15325434090371466: you`re so lazy you didn`t even finish reading the number.
Instead of going to Starbucks, I make my own coffee, yell my name out incorrectly, and then light a $5 bill on fire.
Apparently the ``All you can eat buffet`` isn`t a challenge ...