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“I don’t watch tv” proudly says a person who spend 8 hours a day on the internet.
Hard work never killed anyone but why risk it?
You guys are even more beautiful now that I`m wearing my "wine glasses".
It’s impossible to bring up life insurance with your spouse without it seeming like you plan to have them whacked.
I love salad! Just wish it had the taste and texture of pizza.
does anyone know if smurfs are gluten free
As long as everything is exactly the way I want it. I`m totally flexible.
My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn`t concentrate.
If you ain`t laughin, you ain`t livin!
I am now convinced that the homeless people have all of the shopping carts that do not have the wobbly wheels.
I can`t believe that it`s the year 2012, and I still have to bend down to pick stuff up.
Never ask a woman who is eating ice cream straight from the carton how she’s doing.
If anybody in North America needs a napkin, hit me up. I should have enough in my car’s glovebox for each of you.
Dating Tip: Find a partner with a compatible phone charger.
The real fountain of youth is to have a dirty mind and a naughty smile.