Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Is it called NASCAR because that’s the way a hillbilly pronounces “nice car?”
Gym Update: Not there.
I only drank twice last week....Once for three days and once for four days
Just like our bodies, our minds need exercise. That`s why I think of jogging every morning.
I read in the Bible that people used to get stoned to death, that`s a lot of weed.
It`s everyone`s favorite holiday season where we try to guess if that was a firework or gunshot
Sleep is for the people without access to Internet.
I think instead of doing laundry I`m just going to buy a second hamper...
What idiot called it a contraction and not a birthquake?
Job interview tip: repeatedly ask if you`re under oath
1st woman on the Moon.. Houston we have a problem What? Never mind What`s the problem? Nothing Please tell us? You know what the problem is.
When women say “It’s not what’s on the outside, it’s what’s on the inside that counts”, we all know they are talking about a Man’s wallets.
I`m not just living paycheck to paycheck. I`m living from paycheck to change jar to scrap aluminum to liquor store to paycheck.
love a girl with a trimmed bush because it makes it easier to see into her window at night.
I don`t need WebMD to tell me what`s wrong with me, I have my mother.