Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Of course it`s you. If it was me I wouldn`t even bring it up.
If the sprayer in the sink can`t get it off and the dishwasher can`t get it off then I assume it`s just meant to be a part of the pan.
Still waiting for a "Where are they now?" episode about the Flintstones
Maybe my goal was to be a 35 year old loser on the Internet ... You don`t know.
Today, A 12 year-old came up to me and said "May I please have a cigarette?". I can`t believe kids this age are already so polite.
Do Starbucks employees take coffee breaks?
I`ve been told that I can be condescending... that means that I tend to talk down to people.
You laugh because I`m different ........... I laugh because I farted.
1,000 Ways To Die is so unrealistic. There`s no episode where a man asks a woman `what`s wrong?`
When I die I want Charlie Sheen’s life to flash before my eyes.
Juvenile humor My friend David lost his ID. We just call him Dav now. Here`s your sign..................
A cop comes up to a man on the street. Cop: Seen anything unusual? Man: A dolphin with a hat once. Cop: I mean around here. Man: No, they live in water.
OMG!!!!! I almost went to the toilet without my phone!
In life, you only need two tools - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn`t move but should, use the WD-40. If it should not move and does, use the duct tape
tell your boobs to stop staring at my eyes