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I am so deep in the friendzone I have been introduced to her boyfriend`s parents.
Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is understanding… that the other person is a complete idiot!
The generation of today are so allergic to everything, future wars will be fought by throwing bags of peanuts and cat hair at each other.
Me blacking out when I`m drunk is God`s way of telling me that what I do when I drink is none of my business.
Screw you recommended serving size. You don’t know me.
All my life I thought air was free… and then I bought a bag of chips. ^^
Just completed my sexual harassment training and I think I`m finally ready to start harassing people.
All who post weather maps on FB. You know we have the internet too, right??
Do watch out for elderly neighbours in the heat wave. They`re liable to trap you for hours and talk about the weather.
Why hasn`t anyone written a sequal song to "Jessie`s Girl" ... Where he discovers what an incredible high maintenance drag she is?
Not all men cheat. Some of you women just assume you’re in a relationship with the guy.
I think there should be a mandatory test at 16 that you have to pass and if not, you get neutered or spayed.
If A-B-C-D didn`t drag out their part of the Alphabet song, LMNOP wouldn`t have to be so rushed.
all joking aside, think how many babies might be created tonight on valentines day
All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific.