Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I think I`m a grown up the same way Dr. Phil is a doctor.
word of the day: nincomtard
My salad pic. got more likes than your selfie.
That awkward moment when you gently throw your phone onto your bed and it decides to Bounce of 3 walls, Knock over a lamp and kill a cat.
How long do I have to wear these skinny jeans before they start working?
Sorry for nicking your car w/my door, but you didn`t leave much room. It`s small, but I circled it with my key so you could find it.
People who say `expresso` instead of `espresso,` may I axe you to please stop? Thanx.
Ladies, if he calls you crazy, don`t get upset. Crazy girls are better in bed so take it as a compliment. But stab him, just in case...
Me: *kisses her on both cheeks goodbye* Cashier: That`s really not necessary
If I agreed with you we´d both be wrong.
This is 2016. How come I can`t email someone a fart when I feel like it?
Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming... 1. Whenever you`re wrong, admit it, 2. Whenever you`re right, shut up.
I hate it when I`m trying to take a selfie and somebody calls my camera.
Thank you, true crime show, for saying that was a reenactment. I was pretty upset your camera person didn`t stop that murder.
in wine there is wisdom. in beer there is freedom. in water there is... umm bacteria