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You health nuts are gonna feel real stupid when you`re laying in the hospital dying of nothing.
Remember kids, the Toys R Us bankruptcy and liquidation teaches us that poor spelling and grammar will always catch up with you eventually.
I either want less corruption, or more chance to participate in it!
This dishwasher sucks. It`s already ruined three of my paper plates.
I hate it when you`re buying stuff off the Internet and the bank calls to check to see if your card has been stolen. Sure, it seems nice, but then you have to explain to lady on the phone that no, it was not stolen, you really are the one who bought a subscription to bustyblondes.com
My fridge is just hospice for vegetables.
“I demand a recount.” – Me, in a nugget dispute at McDonald’s.
All alcohol will make my clothes fall off… tequila just makes that happen in public.
She likes to call it a conversation, but mostly she`s gathering evidence.
Winning isn`t everything. Rubbing it in the face of your opponent is also important.
Save the US Postal Service. Have the Jehovah Witness and Mormons deliver the mail.
Just found out the government won`t hire you past age 37. Scratch Navy SEAL off my to do list
I hope manners is the next cool trend.
You know when I was younger I was under the impression that quick sand was going to be a serious issue in life...
I eat my corn on the cob like an old-school typewriter. This is how the 80`s cartoons taught me to do it as a kid.