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I wish my mind had a delete button.
Occasionally, I like to agree with a man just to watch the look of fear, confusion and nervous-anxiety.
What a rip-off. I picked up a book called 101 Mating Positions. It turned out to be a book on chess.
Didn`t ya`ll know awkward moments existed before? Damn, its like the Yolocaust all over again...
It`s a good thing Taylor Swift and Adele aren`t dating. Imagine if they broke up.
If you allow your pets to roam free in our neighborhood, I’m gonna put party hats on em. This is non-negotiable.
The cool thing about The Clapper is it doubles as a strobe light during s@x.
I mean really though...Why wash cups when you can just drink out of the jug?
Relationship Status: ( ) Single ( ) In a Relationship ( ) Married ( ) Engaged ( ) Divorced (X) Waiting for a miracle
I remember when downloading a song meant trying to tape it off the radio while hoping the DJ didn´t talk over the song.
I only have a kitchen because it came with the house.
Dear life, When I said "can my day get any worse?" it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.
is a reasonably intelligent person who does moderately stupid things on a semi-regular basis.
Sometimes I wonder if the kid in the Dreamworks logo has caught a fish yet.
I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and crap a better status than yours!