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You`re only limited by your own imagination! And money. And talent. And genetics. And time. And other people. Go for it!
Im pretty sure that my shrink this week mumbled "this is pure gold" under his breath
If advertisers were smart, they`d make a silent, slow-motion commercial that runs at normal speed when you fast forward through it on a DVR.
I`m only a morning person on December 25th
when i have children im going to make them watch 2012 and tell them i survived all of that.
they say there`s love in every corner....gosh I think I`m moving in circles
I fake my LOLs
Someone’s going to ruin things; it might as well be me.
As if " cray cray" wasn`t irritating enough, people have started shortening it to " cray"....that`s just stu stu
I`m pretty sure there`s a chip in my car that turns all traffic lights RED...
My fitness goal is just to get down to the weight that I lied about on my drivers license.
I keep my TV volume at "screw the neighbors".
Ladies and Gentleman, I`ve traveled a long way, crossed many bridges, fought my way through countless obstacles, all to bring you this one sad truth about life. There`s never enough beer.
This beer sure tastes like I`m on vacation next week!
I love the gym this time of year. The newbies make me look like a Victoria Secret model.