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I thought I was on the cash cab show! But turns out I was in a police car and cops hate trivia.
I`ll call it a smartphone the day I yell "Where`s my phone?" and it yells "Down here! In the couch cushions!"
Judging from all the misery and carnage on my newsfeed, I`m assuming it`s Monday.
Learn to spell. Auto Correct isn’t always write.
People should have to pass an IQ test to use the internet.
Life is so much funnier when you have a dirty mind.
I`m honestly convinced some women do not fart. They just hold it in, and it comes out as drama.
Every shape I had to learn above octagon was just a total fu*king waste of time.
It`s impossible to get a parking ticket if you don`t have windshield wipers.
My wife woke up with a HUGE smile on her face this morning. I love sharpies.
They should just block cell phone service in movie theaters. Problem solved.
“I saw that.” -Karma
Things I`m confused by: how did Rub a Dub Dub, Three Men in a Tub become a nursery rhyme?
FYI: Every Scooby Doo episode would literally be 2 minutes long, if the gang went to the mask store 1st & asked a few questions.
I`m feeling 22.. Pounds overweight.