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Have you ever been so hungry you accidentally called someone sandwich?
My kids can be difficult sometimes, but my mom always assures me that I deserve it.
I don`t know where the saying "working like a dog" got started but I`m looking at my dogs daily routine feeling pretty jealous myself.
His idea of cleanliness is sweeping the room with a glance.
Why procrastinate today when you can procrastinate tomorrow?
I tried being modest once, as expected I was amazing at it.
I opened a bottle of wine to let it breathe. It didn`t. So I gave it mouth to mouth.
Why would I dance like nobody`s watching? People need to see this.
"Don`t try this at home"...Okay, i`ll try it at my friend`s house..
Boobs are like model trains. They were originally for children but grown men always want to play with them.
I am going to open "The Karma Cafe" There will be no menus though. You will get what you deserve!
Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer is my favorite story about how you will get treated like CRAP ... until you have something someone else needs
I hate getting my picture taken. Especially in front of a height chart at the police station.
Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side.
I just slid off the couch and lay on the floor for a while and eventually sat up without using my hands, is that a yoga class?