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So you`ll be able to buy Girl Scout Cookies online this year ... Your move Weight Watchers
Vodka and denial are cheaper than therapy.
I just ended a long-term relationship today ... I’m ok though, it wasn’t mine.
Never confuse the words "venom" and "poison". Venom is injected into blood by an animal. Poison is injected into food by a woman.
If airports are so safe, why are the buildings called Terminal
I love Alfredo sauce ... Unless you`re a dude named Alfredo.
I found out why I`m still single. Apparently, you have to go outside and let people see you.
This Kit Kat commercial is making some awfully big assumptions about both my generosity and my number of friends.
Wow, I just melted a piece of ice by staring at it. Took a little longer than I thought it would.
If a guy remembers the color of your eyes after the first date, you know you have small boobs
I want to follow my dream, but i dont want to look like a stalker
How many Snickers are an acceptable meal replacement?
Lasagna is just spaghetti flavored cake.
It’s called a “remote” because those are your odds of finding it when you want to change the channel.
Social Media: Because I like to socialize with cool people without having to speak, wear pants or get off the couch.