Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
In my defense, your honor, he had the keyboard clicking sound on his phone turned on.
I`ve decided I`m not going to focus on my past anymore. So, if I owe you money, I`m sorry.
with great power...comes great electric bill...
I hate mixed messages. They`re great.
If you never used that plastic thing that keeps pizza from sticking to the box lid as GI Joe`s poker table you`re too mature for me.
I wonder what it feels like to be wrong.
If my glass is half full then I start wondering where my bartender is.
When people put pics of their vacation on FB I write: I saw fire trucks outside your house but I`m sure you already know, have a great time!
I`ve made up my mind, I`m not giving up anything for Lent, I`m no quitter...
I hate it when people hate me without even giving me a chance to give them a good reason to.
Marriage is a wonderful institution... but who wants to live in an institution?
Grammar is important! Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your Uncle jack off a horse.
I`m always right. And when I`m not, I edit Wikipedia.
Just think, there is an entire generation of idiots who will wonder: "Why did they have a hashtag button on landline phones?"
It`s not "you`re" or "your". It`s mine. It`s all mine, everything is mine!