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Do you really know me or am I just an idea that you`ve built in your head?
After 20 years of marriage, my wife still makes me smile. At least for the pictures...
The invention of the shovel must have been ground-breaking.
Coffee : Starter fluid for the morning impaired.
Patience is not about how long you can wait, but how well you behave while waiting.
My wife gives me sound advice. 99% sound. 1% advice.
A "long story" is just a short story that no one wants to tell.
Poetry would be a lot harder if violets were orange.
I’m late for a disappointment.
If you don’t like something change it... if you can’t change it....post it on facebook, so we can "like it" and laugh..
I saw this wino, he was eating grapes. I was like "Dude, you have to wait."
I get nervous after taking time off work, that in my absence my boss will realize how little I actually do at the office.
We have so much in common. You want to travel and I want you to go.
This donut scented car freshener will more than pay for itself next time I get pulled over.
When I started out, I was young and idealistic, I wanted a Career and to make a difference in the World, but it turned out that I only wanted Paychecks........