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Oh the pranks I would pull if I were invisible
I’ll call it a “smart phone” the day I yell, “Where’s my phone?!” and it answers, “I’m here! Under your covers!”
The United States is probably the only country in the world where people need energy drinks to sit in front of a computer all day.
I`m not everyone`s cup of tea ... I`d rather be someone`s shot of tequila away.
I miss the old days when street gangs asserted their dominance through aggressive hair combing.
If you`re gonna label the silica gel "do not eat", maybe you should label everything in the box. I almost ate a shoe before someone stopped me
if ever you need NOTHING, im here for you.
Adam and Eve were the first people to agree to the Apple terms and conditions without reading them.
During a test..people look up for inspiration, down in desperation, and left and right for information
I don`t have a drinking problem ... I`m just really thirsty.
It’s not real love unless you leave your phone in plain sight overnight.
One day I shall rule the World! Until then, I am going to bed. Good Night :D
I just heard "Eye of the Tiger" and now I`m motivated to conquer the world. Or at least get out of my pajamas.
I wonder how many people die each year as a result of lifeguards running in slow motion.
Don`t cry because it`s over. Smile because it happened. -Me, to my empty pizza box