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MISSED CONNECTION: I gave you the Heimlich maneuver on Maine St. You insisted you weren’t choking and put up a good fight.
Why is that in girls tampon commercials they dance and laugh? Shouldn`t they be revving chainsaws and burning sh!t down?
You are intriguing. You require further stalking, sorry I mean investigation.
Its not you, it`s how you don`t make me sandwiches.
I`m just a guy standing in front of a huge pile of laundry wondering how flammable it is.
When Life rains on your parade, get out the Slip-n-Slide.
Whoever invented the 5 day work week and 2 day weekend can suck my a**!
I’m convinced that the employees of McDonalds were just customers who could pay and are working off their bills.
Cop cars should play the jaws theme song
The best curve on a woman is her smile :) ...Hahahaha lmao! No I`m kidding, it`s her boobs.
The more I get to know you, the more I`m convinced that you are the sole inspiration behind many medications.
When people see ghosts, why aren`t they naked? Do clothes die and become ghosts too?
So... Where does one obtain minions?
Every time I get an eyelash in my eye, I`m reminded of how quickly I would die in the wild.
My 5 year plan is to watch Netflix. All of it.