Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The phrase “Don’t take this the wrong way.” has a zero percent success rate.
In lieu of a gift I liked a couple of charities on FB in your honour
Sluts are just hookers with no grasp of economics.
Pokémon means a totally different thing if your stuck in a Jamaican prison.
Alcohol makes me worse at everything except telling secrets
When I was a kid, I wanted to be an adult. So yeah...kids are stupid.
Sometimes I let the words in my mind come out of my mouth. And it feels awesome! B)
How many Oreos is too many?...Is it 25?...I feel like it should be more than 25
The only idea worse than New Coke was brown toilet paper...
So my kid secretly recorded me driving and singing and put it on social media if you needed to know how important birth control is today.
Someone once told me, “GO FOR BROKE” !! I’m happy to report that I succeeded…
The cop at your front door is never a stripper when you want them to be.
Those "Speed Enforced by Aircraft" signs don`t understand how eager I am to get pulled over by an F-16.
Ran into a former supervisor from my last job today, kept driving.
You can always tell if a guy masturbates a lot by looking at his hands. If you look closely, you’ll see a wedding ring.