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Taking shots of Tequila is just another way of saying, "I like where I wake up to always be a surprise."
I`m really good at using the turkey baster as a sword and getting drunk and not being invited to Thanksgiving anymore.
Some people should use a glue stick instead of a chap stick.
If puppies could talk I would never even want to try and make human friends ever again.
My husband ran for 30 minutes on the treadmill. He`s told every other person on earth and I didn`t want y`all to be out of the loop.
Why was the cat in the bag in the first place?
Accidentally took a women`s multi vitamin & I`ve been trying to get dressed for the past 3 hours, but everything is making me look fat.
I`m just chilling tonight with my new plane ... Oops, I`ve said too much.
Fantasy football is just Dungeons and Dragons for the people who used to beat up the people who played Dungeons and Dragons.
How do you get in touch with the models in the pictures that come with the frame? I have an out of control, elaborate lie I need help with.
is clapping his hands and stomping his feet because he is happy and he knows it.
I`d like to have a child one day ... Two days, tops.
Iām not in denial, Iām just selective about the reality I choose to accept :)
I hate to call it "one night stands"... I prefer the term "auditions"
The term "chubby chasers" is so inaccurate and misleading. Cause we don`t run.