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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

If my statuses had a smell.. they would smell funny
A new study has found that women with larger butts live longer than men who mention it.
Everytime I see β€œROFL”… I think of Scooby Doo trying to say β€œwaffle”.
Back in my day, we had to remember phone numbers and give people directions and don`t get me started on the dinosaurs.
I`m looking for a girlfriend that likes me for my money, but is really bad at math...
If someone asks me if I need help finding something in a department store I like to slowly describe a gun
Why does toilet paper need a commercial? Who is not buying this?
Don`t cry because it`s over, smile because you have incriminating evidence.
I just saw a disclaimer that said β€œdon’t try this at home”, so I tried it at my neighbors house.
Just how hairy was the dude who invented a shampoo called Head & Shoulders?
I was just thinking…Then I thought β€œwhy?”... So there will be no more thinking today.
Curious that it`s always a female computer voice that calmly announces self-destruct sequences and other violent disasters.
I`m trying to lose weight by eating carrots and bran muffins. It`s a fiber-optics diet.
Dating Tip: Find a partner with a compatible phone charger.
If you take bites out of string cheese rather than rip strings off , you don’t f*cking deserve string cheese.