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May you never be as bored as whoever figured out that holding a seashell to your ear sounds like the ocean
If you wear cowboy clothes, are you ranch dressing?
To be truthful from deep down ... I don`t believe that paper beats rock.
Behind every beautiful song is a person who really shouldn`t sing it out loud in public
I need a hug right now also five hundred thousand dollars in cash.
If you see someone wearing camouflage clothing, bump into them. It only takes a second of your time & it makes them feel like it works.
Why put off `til tomorrow what you can premeditate today.
People are always weirded out when I take notes during episodes of Dexter.
As your best friend, I swear to always pretend to be your lesbian lover when you are getting hit on by an ulgy ass hole in a bar.
I overheard 2 girls say there was a creepy dude listening to their conversation.
Chinese scientists have discovered the rare rock n roll panda it will only eat A wop bop a loo lop a wop Bamboo
My head hurts, I think my horns are coming in...
It won`t be the alcohol or cigarettes that kill me. It will be my inability to know when I should or shouldn`t laugh at something.
A good friend will bail you out of jail. A great friend will be handcuffed next to you saying that was fun
Abstinence makes the arm grow stronger ... at least one of them anyway.