Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Hey, somebody get ready to wake up the guy in Green Day.
Every year new words are added onto the dictionary, yet no new positions are added to the karma sutra.
There was a sense of accomplishment finishing the daily newspaper. I literally have no idea when I`m supposed to stop reading the internet.
I ignored your Facebook friend request because there isn`t a "Hell no!" button.
Can I have a free unlimited day trial of being attractive?
I keep seeing studies finding fecal matter on things. Anyone considered that perhaps it`s the scientists that aren`t washing their hands?
"My place is a mess" - Every girl, ever.... "Well in that case, I`m not coming in" - No guy, ever
Press 1 for someone who probably learned English last month, but is going to try and communicate effectively with you anyway.
I went to the doctor for a check up and he says I`m going to live. But I think he`s wrong and it`s just a matter of time.
Some people think I`m quiet, others wish I was.
Despite what people may tell you, its the fat that makes you look fat... NOT the dress!! lol
Some mornings it`s best to just fill the sink with coffee, dunk your head in it, and suck.
Car alarms should sound like two chicks in a fight. I`d look out the window for that.
In the morning there`s a huge difference between 6:00 and 6:05.
Hillary Clinton is running for president. In other news, grass is green and the sun is hot.