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There is a huge difference between a hot girl and a girl wearing lesser clothes.
I prefer to use the bathroom naked w/ the door wide open. Sorry if this interferes with your idea of a "safe & fun work environment"
I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road and not have their motives questioned.
If ignorance is bliss. You must be the happiest person on this planet.
Somebody has to be awesome…might as well be me.
You`ve never been truly drunk until you`ve had to use a barstool as a walker to get home.
45 minutes on the treadmill is no big deal if you don`t turn it on
If a camera adds 10 pounds then maybe stop eating them
Just changed my wireless network name in my apartment to "I can hear you having sex through the ceiling and it sounds mediocre."
If kindness really kills, you`ll always be completely safe around me.
Admit it. When you go to the zoo, the first thing you look at is the Camel`s foot.
Arguing over a girl`s bust size is like choosing between Heineken, Coors or Budweiser -- Men may state their preferences, but will grab whatever is available.
"How`s phone reception in the bathroom?" is an important question, but one you just can`t ask on a job interview.
It`s a good thing not everyone has a smartphone. Someone has to honk when the light turns green.
The only thing Facebook has ever done for me is make me realize a lot of my friends are idiots.