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FYI : My post aren`t directed at anyone in particular...so should anyone be offended by them, I say if the shoe fits ... Wear It!!!!!
They say swearing is due to limited vocabulary. I know thousands of words, but I still prefer`f*ck off` to `go away`.
I wish I could talk to donkeys so I could be known as the ass whisperer.
I tried stuff once. It was horrible.
In all my years, I have never finished a pencil.
I am starting to think I will never be old enough to know better.
Fitbits are just like Tamagotchis, except the stupid little creature you have to keep alive is yourself.
Of all the martial arts, Karaoke inflicts the most pain.
Everytime I see a mattress tied to the top of a car, I think….there’s another prostitute making a house call……
If you really think about it, "Nightlife" is just a fancy word for drinking alcohol at a place that isn`t your house.
The art of taking a self pic fast enough that no one sees you. The Stealthfie.
My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember all the things I was suppose to do.
Sometimes you run into people who just make your day more bearable. Those people are called bartenders.
Eating Popcorn: 90% during the trailers. 10% during the movie.
I just ran a .003048K