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Note to self: It`s time to grow up, be responsible, and act like an adult. Self to Note: Shut the f*ck up.
I get in this weird mood where I don`t want to talk to anybody and just want to be left alone. I call this mood `Awake`
Chuck-E-Cheese, because it`s never too early to introduce your child to poor nutrition and gambling..
I`ll tell you what a woman wants. She wants you to drag her to the bedroom, toss her down, and do the dishes and laundry while she takes a nap.
I thought my name was "Stop encouraging him" until I was 11.
Some people are just bad news!!! Those are my favorite!
People are obsessed with the front seat of the car but when you get in a bus, you go straight to the back
I dig, we dig, he dig, she dig, they dig. It`s not a beautiful poem, but it`s very deep.
You may think it`s bad grammar but I assure you it`s just laziness.
A bird in the hand is the best way to eat chicken.
Dyslexics are teople poo.. :|
Why are there no owls here? I Was lead to believe there would by owls here. #hooters
I bet when spiders see those fake green cob webs on Halloween they must be like "Ugh, tourists".
You know you had an awesome night when you need sunglasses to get food out the fridge.
When I bang my toe against something it`s like I pressed a button that plays all the curse words I know