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Boy it`s nice out today... or at least that`s what it says on my computer.
Whenever I read: "Do not exceed recommended dose" I always think, "Challenge accepted!"
My doctor is getting really tired of me asking if the stuff I see in commercials is right for me.
It`s a beautiful day. I think I`ll skip my meds and stir things up a bit
Next time a guy asks for your number, write it down in Roman numerals. If he manages to call you, he`s a keeper.
Ten seconds of drug commercials are spent telling you what the drug is for and the rest is spent basically daring you to take it.
I already want to take a nap tomorrow.
I`ve just woken up, and it appears that Earth is temporarily safe from harm & currently doesn`t need my assistance, so I`m going back to bed.
I don`t burn bridges. I just loosen the bolts a little bit each day.
Hey,,,, I said I`d be there in 10 minutes... Quit calling me every half hour.
My mom likes playing this game called `yell from four rooms away and get upset when I can`t hear her`.
If nobody hates you, you are doing something boring.
I’m moving to Africa. Apparently there I can eat for 12 cents a day.
When I get married I plan on introducing my spouse as my ex-fiancé just to mess with people.
No one in my entire life has believed in me more than the waiter who gave me a single napkin to use while eating my lunch yesterday.