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Easy baked macaroni and cheese recipe: Boil macaroni in water.... follow the rest of the instructions on box. TADA!
Whoever said technology will replace paper has obviously never tried to wipe their butt with an iPad.
If they just built prisons out of the sh!t they package electronics in, no one could ever escape.
It’s always hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they’re always taking things literally.
When I`m on my death bed, I want my last words to be...."I left 10 million dollars in the..........."
Of course I plan to seize the day ... Eventually.
I have an inferiority complex about my superiority complex. I know I`m better than you, but I feel really bad about it.
My mom says I`m special.
I wish I had the balls to be a juggler.
I can tell people are judgmental just by looking at them.
Are you reading this from a toilet? I`m writing this from one.
Neil Armstrong said "One small step for man...". I would`ve just said "OH MY GOD, I`M ON THE MOON!!!!!!".
Damn girl are you a cobweb cause you`re really clingy and annoying
When a woman asks you for your opinion all she really wants to hear is her opinion repeated word for word but in your voice.
STD`s aren`t like pokémon, your not suppose to catch`em all!