Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Lake Superior really needs to lose the attitude.
Why is it when you go to get your drivers license photo, they tell you to smile. Your not smiling when the police pull you over.
NEVER go to a wet t shirt contest drunk. I won 2nd place.
Just moisturized my hands and now I can`t get out of the bathroom. Send help.
As long as everything is exactly the way I want it. I`m totally flexible.
On a scale of 1 to "Get out you`re fired" where does napping at work rank?
Anytime my boss leaves her office, I sneak in there and fart.
6 inch - about right, 7 inch - cant complain, 8 inch - f*cking perfect, 9 inch - a bit much, 10 inch - its hurting my insides, 11 inch - I cant take it anymore, 12 inch - I`m absolutely f*cking destroyed ... Aren`t pizza`s just awesome.
"I don`t trust you to not buy drugs" -people who give gift cards
I hope the final frame of Breaking Bad is white text on black background: "None of this would have happened if we had Universal Healthcare."
Adam and Eve were the first people to agree to the Apple terms and conditions without reading them.
I hate it when spiders just sit there acting like they pay rent.
The great thing about snow is it makes your lawn look as good as your neighbors.
It’s getting really annoying how eating makes you gain weight..
My favorite in-laws are the ones that don`t exist.