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Apparently when you donate blood, it has to be "YOUR" blood.
If my computer desktop were an actual place, they would bring in blindfolded people to make a Febreeze commercial.
I accidentally lit the wrong end of a cigarette-that can`t be healthy!
If you are naughty go to your room, if you wanna be naughty go to mine :)
My mind is exceptionally quiet.... I am suspicious that I am up to something I don`t want myself to know about.
Do you ever get bored on the internet and then grab your phone to see what the other, smaller internet is up to?
Why are we still testing on animals when there are pedophiles in prison.
You ever make fun of someone so much, you think you should thank them for all the good times you’ve had?
My date just saved me tons of money by simply saying, "no, I don`t want to be your valentine and stop texting me!"
I would rather cuddle then have sex. If you`re good with grammar you`ll get it.
Amazing how many people just stroll into tattoo parlors and say "Give me the dumbest thing you can think of."
If she is still able to walk to the kitchen after s@x , you don`t deserve a sandwich.
I bet people who like their own statuses wink at themselves in the mirror too.
Life gets expensive when you trust a woman that`s cute.
If ghosts existed, why are they all apparently from the last 100 years or so? Wouldn’t there be evidence of a Neanderthal ghost here and there?