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I’ve come to the realization that the trash goes out more than I do.
The best thing about online classes is the beer.
Here`s a list of the things I have to look forward to today: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. Drinking after work
My wife hasnt stopped looking through the window since it started raining. If it gets worse, I might have to let her back in...
Ladies: Sometimes you just need to throw your arms up in the air and say, "Tie me up"
I would eat a lot more salads if they were made out of pizza.
Mashed potatoes really beg the question: “what else could we massively improve by squashing the hell out of it?”
so apparently there is no such thing as a St Patrick`s Santa and I`m not sure whose lap I just sat on at the mall.
they say money cant buy you happiness but id much rather be crying in a fararri...
I don’t have time for the nervous breakdown I deserve.
I wonder how many couples would still be together if they traded phones for a weekend
There are only two types of honest people in this world.....small children and drunk people.
Just made eye contact with a guy while licking my lips ... I think I need to kill him now.
Im really not just some idiot with nothing better to do with my time, I just play one in FB.
I put the PRO in inappropriate!