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I try to explain to my kids during the movie that in reality, even a cowardly lion would eat a girl and a little dog.
To trick people into thinking I understand things at a museum I stand in front of every painting and silently count to twenty.
She asked me for time and distance. I guess she wants to calculate velocity.
I`d be amazing at life if I was only asked to sit and play on the computer all day.
I never forget a breast, I mean face. I never forget a face.
Everyone wants you to "be honest" until you tell them how much they suck.
No toilet paper.. goodbye socks
Ladies, when it comes to doggy style.....I`m behind you 100%
Who decided that the abbreviation for pound should be two letters not in the word?
I would be a great procrastinator ... if I could ever get around to it.
Curious that it`s always a female computer voice that calmly announces self-destruct sequences and other violent disasters.
I have problems cleaning my house because I get distracted by all the fun things I find.
No officer I wasn’t texting, that’s dangerous. I was checking my email.
Being a parent means often saying your child is shy rather than "he sees how creepy u are, that`s why he doesn`t want to shake your hand".
Why be part of the problem when you can be all of it?