Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
*licks finger, holds it up in the air* ah yes, just as I suspected. wind.
Sawing a hole in the bottom of a table to steal someone`s cake is way harder than it looks on cartoons.
Before I had kids I never really reflected on life`s little mysteries. For example, why is my toothbrush under the couch?
The office Christmas party is a great opportunity to catch up with people you haven`t seen for half an hour.
If I ever sound inspriational, one of us is drunk.
You don`t truly know someone until you see how they react to their bag of chips getting stuck in a vending machine.
I always read my girlfriend’s horoscope to see what kind of day I`m going to have.
Pandora has taught me that a lot of the music I love is very similar to music I absolutely hate
That urge you get to write "No one gives a sh!t" on someone`s status..
I like how the package for cotton swabs says don`t put them in your ears and everyone in the world is thinking: "WTF else would I do with them?!"
This healthy diet thing is dangerous. I just cut myself peeling an apple. This would have never happened to me with a twinkie.
The most impressive thing about marathon runners is how they don’t check their phone for 3 hours.
Next time I`m on an elevator with four or more strangers, I`m going to turn around and say, "I`m sure you`re wondering why I`ve gathered you all here."
I may be asking too much of this coffee.
Is it just me, or did anyone else wake up on the SEXY side of the bed this morning?