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I just saw a giant spider in my room so I sprayed it with hairspray. It`s not dead, but its hair looks fabulous.
I’m sorry, your photo is so confusing. You’re gonna need to hashtag every detail of it for me so I can grasp what’s going on here.
I enjoy shopping online because at least I don`t have to act all shocked when my credit card gets declined.
Million dollar idea: Pills that you can take with alcohol.
A yawn is a silent scream for coffee!
Sports commentators need to stop saying penetrate
does anyone know if smurfs are gluten free
I don`t have to run faster than the lion, I just have to run faster than you.
Day 8. You should be thankful that I`m medicated
My dream job is a pharmacy cashier & yelling for a price check every time someone checks out anal ointment, condoms, & men buying maxi pads.
You know its going to be a b!tch of a day when you put your bra on backwards and it fits better.
Objects in spandex are larger than they appear
Make yourself indispensable at work by hiding everything.
According to WebMD, people are Sick & Tired of me
Lessons learned from last night: There is no such thing as a goalie in darts