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Welcome back to plastic surgery anonymous. Nice to see so many new faces here today.
Turbo tax might just be the worst video game I ever played.
Today, A 12 year-old came up to me and said "May I please have a cigarette?". I can`t believe kids this age are already so polite.
I just found out that a bucket of KFC when you`re finished with it, also doubles as a porta-potty...
Every woman needs a shoulder to cry on, a shoulder to lean on and a shoulder to hold her bra strap on!!!
Hey all you parents who recently named your kid Jax, We get it you`re unoriginal and watch SOA ... Hold on my daughter Grey`s Anatomy is crying.
Relationships, Marriages, work and children are what keep alcohol companies in business.
Jellyfish have survived here on Earth for 650 million years without brains. Great news for most of you.
If you like someone, set them free. If they comeback, it means nobody liked them. Set them free again.
Life is hard, it`s even harder when your stupid.
My relationship status? Last night, in the elevator, I told a girl she had nice shoelaces.
Whenever I hear "let me tell you the truth", I secretly cross my fingers, hoping they say "brownies are healthy, eat as many as you want."
?"Cheating" is such a strong word. I rather call it "talent scouting".
The voices in my head are not real, but they have good ideas.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in the fruit salad.