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I`m sorry did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?
A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
I watch CSI for the great tips they give out.
Sometimes I wish I could appear offline in real life too
Let`s fix the obesity problem AND improve eye-hand coordination by replacing vending machines with claw machines, make people earn snacks.
Have you ever stopped to think, and forgot to start again?
Using my invisible hula hoop really freaks people out.
My New Year`s Resolution is to stop making late decisions.
The location of your mailbox shows you how far away from your house you can be in a robe before you start looking like a mental patient.
The synonym for `reality` is `offline`
I feel so lazy.. Lazy as the guy who created the Japanese flag
From all these shows I`ve watched it seems like snipers lay down a lot of the day....I`d probably be pretty good at that job.
"It`s not you, it`s me." -Twins looking at some family photos.
Iām so old, I can remember going through a whole day without taking a picture of anything.
If you grew up wanting to be a Plumber or a Pizza delivery boy, You watched too much porn as a kid.