Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Sometimes, I drink a glass of water, just to surprise my liver!
Some of the best things in life...are mistakes.
Know the rules well so you can break them effectively.
The doctors say im going to be ok. I must warn you the dyson ball cleaner has a very misleading name.
My wife hasnt stopped looking through the window since it started raining. If it gets worse, I might have to let her back in...
Instead of cleaning the house I just watch an episode of Hoarders and I think WOW, my house really looks great.
You know you’re ugly when it comes to a group picture and they hand you the camera.
Anyone else find it odd that on Star Trek, when they say "to boldly go where no one has gone before", when they get there, they always meet someone?
Always end a conversation with "gotta run" so people think you`re into fitness
“Hey baby, do you smell that?” “No.” “Me neither, start cooking.”
ever notice that on a phone the word "mom" is 666?
We all just sat there and watched as Pepe Le Pew tried to rape that cat. Shame on us.
Cops never say “thanks for committing crimes and keeping us employed”. It’s just plain selfish.
be smart, pretend to be stupid!
If you can`t say something nice about someone, you probably know the same people I do.