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finally got my certification in the mail, I`m officially insane.
Taking down my Christmas tree would probably just be a waste of time at this point.
I think it`s safe to assume that people buying stock in twitter have never actually been on twitter.
I`d try Taco Bell`s breakfast but I don`t start drinking that early.
Valentines day
Can someone else be a sex symbol today? ... My good T-shirt is still in the wash...
Most people donate to the homeless. Me? I donate to the topless.
What if God is a woman. Not only will I be going to Hell, but I`ll never hear the end of it.
Why do people post pictures of missing people on facebook?...like we are going outside.
One time I threw a boomerang and lost it, now I live in constant fear.
If heat makes things expand, then I don`t have a weight problem ... I am just Hot!
If there’s one thing that I’ve learned it’s, that I should have learned way more than one thing.
Black, white, gay, straight, Christian, Jewish... It doesn`t matter. It`s all good. But a Pepsi drinker...
Hey ladies! Great news! Those low riding, butt crack, hip hugger jeans are coming back in style!
Do you think all the giraffes sit around and watch Margaret in Nebraska give birth?