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Any psycho girls wanna hang out? Just text me like 5000 times and let me know.
I`m going to be very disappointed if I go to England and nobody skips to the loo.
So, I guess we’re just supposed to assume the number is 1-800-Ghostbusters?
Taking a nap is so risky. Like, when will I wake up? 30 minutes from now? 2 hours? 12 years? No one can be sure.
The Internet: An electronic version of, "Now, why did I walk into this room?"
My brain is about as well organized as the Walmart $5 dvd bin.
The sucking moment when you wave to someone & they haven`t noticed you & all are watching you & you feel why you waved in the first place & still you run after the person to stop & say HI
If you`re gonna label the silica gel "do not eat", maybe you should label everything in the box. I almost ate a shoe before someone stopped me
Capitalization can really change a sentence. Example: I love to eat candy ... I love to eat capitalization.
Women who say the quickest way to a man`s heart is through his stomach, have not seen his browser history.
My roommate complained that I never lifted a finger to help around the house. So I lifted a finger. Apparently, it was the wrong one.
I just realized that Mr. Rogers had the first man-cave.
am I the only one who would beat the sh!t out of someone for wearing a "forever lazy" to a tailgate?
Why can`t insomnia start in the morning.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.