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Know why a room full of married people looks so empty? There’s not a Single person in it…
One man`s sarcastic answer, is another man`s stupid question
If thought bubbles appeared above my head, I`d be screwed.
so far so good.... no unexpected father`s day cards or presents!
Whenever someone asks me to sign their cast, I always write: ‘last warning, you have a week to get the money together.’
Facebook: Making stalking people much more convenient since 2004.
It’s getting harder and harder to find vodka-flavored vodka.
You make me wanna be a better stalker. No, seriously. Slow the f*ck down.
Roses are red, violets are blue, daisies are white, sunflowers are yellow. This florist has everything.
You`ve cat to be kitten me right meow.
I`ll CUT you...!!!!!!!!...... A slice of pizza, cause I`m a sharer:)
Some people wonder why I never like or comment on their posts. It’s because I unfollowed you a long time ago.
Illiterate? Well then sign up today for free online reading classes!
Breaking News: Viagra shippment stolen... Cops are looking for a gang of hardened criminals.
You seem awesome. I can`t wait to find out what I hate about you.