Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Do you think they still give out chips in Gambler`s Anonymous?
I had s*x with my friend`s wife last night and now I feel awful. She must have had the flu or something.
Some people wouldn`t understand irony if it beat them over the head with a helmet.
Thank you Lord for this delicious meal we are about to Instagram.
20 years from now, some adults are going to say they grew up on the “bad part of town,” meaning there was no 4G in that area.
Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?
You know you`re getting old when cops make you feel safe instead of nervous.
I spend the first half of work fantasizing about all the different places I could go for lunch.
I like to go on drunk facebook post binges, then claim the next day that someone hacked my account.
Did you know statistically you`re more likely to be killed by a coconut falling from a tree than by a coconut stabbing you with a kitchen knife.
My blind neighbor sure does take his dog on a lot of walks...
Apparently I misunderstood it when I was told to "expose yourself to other cultures."
"No, thanks. I`m a vegetarian." is a fun thing to say when someone hands you their baby.
When you introduce clapping to your dancing you might probably be too old to be in a night club at 1am.
Want your favorite song to become your least favorite song? Just make it your alarm tune.