Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`d rather run into the four horsemen of the apocalypse than a group of women out on a "girls` night."
Remember kids, the Toys R Us bankruptcy and liquidation teaches us that poor spelling and grammar will always catch up with you eventually.
I think the spork would have caught on better if they called it "a forkin` spoon!"
Its all fun and games..until you get stuck on a level of candy crush!!!
"Nothing is impossible." I disagree. I`m doing nothing right now... it`s totally possible.
Bring me the heads of my enemies!! or some cupcakes ... whichever.
I really don`t need to be loved.. I would settle for being tolerated. :)
When I`m in a bathroom stall, please don`t yell "Oh my God oh my God there`s a guy in here!" Respect my privacy.
Remember the good ole days when we had to get out of bed to use the Internet.
I`m starting to think that the Facebook status update I liked has had absolutely no influence on Government policy at all ...
it`s friday o clock
True Story: People will believe you when start a story saying "True story"
Liam Neeson trained Batman, Obi Wan, and Darth Vader. He is both Aslan and Zeus…and he punches wolves. Why would you kidnap his family?
Word to the wise - make sure the phone is 100% hung up before you call someone an a$$hole.
I was trying to think of something really deep to post on Facebook this morning. The Mariana Trench comes to mind.