Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
People around me think I`m losing it. So today, I had to sit myself down and have a talk.
Your baby was cute until I realized you’re on the same flight as me. Now your baby is stupid.
Don’t underestimate my ability to do absolutely nothing.
My mom put shredded carrots in our Jello, so don`t tell me about your rough childhood.
Apparently it was a bad idea to ask Siri, "What do women want?" She`s been talking for the last 2 days and doesn`t seem ready to shut up anytime soon.
Wine with crackers and cheese is basically just the classy version of beer and nachos.
Just in: Chinese people confirm they were just messing with us with chopsticks. "You guys look like dumb idiots lol" says one Chinese guy
Sometimes it’s just easier to eat the last slice of pizza than fit the box in the fridge.
For the record when I was a kid I never wanted to be an adult.
If you ever feel sad and blue, just remember that somewhere in the world, there`s a fat kid who just dropped his ice-cream.
me + you = overpopulation... :) :p
Laughter is not the best medicine. Laughter with large amounts of alcohol & wild crazy monkey sex - now that`s the best medicine.
I say if you can`t come up with anything nice to say then post it on Facebook.
A cross-eyed teacher has no control over her pupils
My girlfriend told me she wanted me to surprise her with a gift that will take her breath away. I’m thinking about getting her a treadmill.