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finally got my certification in the mail, I`m officially insane.
Welcome back to plastic surgery anonymous. Nice to see so many new faces here today.
I think there’s finally enough stuff in my kitchen junk drawer to build a spaceship.
I kind of feel like getting some work done today, so I’m just going to sit here until that feeling passes.
"Any way you can speed this up, officer? I`m obviously in a hurry."
Was going to watch the presidential inauguration today, but found something more interesting on a different channel. Watched "How cow farts affect the ozone layer" on The Science channel.
Comment if you think I`m normal... Like this if you think I`m crazy... Copy this if you know your crazy too! And if your me... OMG TURKEY SQUIRREL! :)
is it just me, or did anyone else think that we would be living like the Jetson´s by 2011?
Life is basically one long, terrible date with yourself.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol at my house may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.
I hate sneezing during sex, as it alerts the neighbours and lets them know I`m watching.
People who argue on their cell phones in public should have to do it on speakerphone so the rest of us can get both sides.
I was really pissed at my girlfriend for not calling me all day. Then I remembered she`s imaginary. So I`m good.
There is no such thing as something looking "Too good to eat"
I wish all my freckles would just mix into a tan.