Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I don`t get along with Hipster kids. Not a fan of the smell of thrift stores.
Of course I’ll buy a polished rock made into a necklace. I’m on vacation, aren’t I?
Normal trees probably look at Christmas trees all dolled up and think .. "Whore"
Damn your Hott!...........................Freaking Sun! lmao =P
Men use love to get sex...women use sex to get love...I use coupons to get pizza!
I always honk when I drive by homeless guys sleeping, just in case they overslept for a meeting
"what doesnt kill u makes u smaller" -mario Lol
Some people just lack the ability to realize that everyone in the room wants them to shut up.
Those raccoons must of had one heck of a party last night!!!! That`s the 4th one I`ve seen passed out on this road
If you lose a tooth as an adult, the tooth fairy gives you a trailer.
Teacher: Have a seat! Student: Thanks! *picks up the chair and leaves* -- (°_°)
I guess I prefer Subway because they make me feel like I`m making the healthy decision when I order a loaf of bread with 18 meatballs on it.
I wish people were like Internet videos and you could tap them lightly to see a clock of how much longer they`re going to be talking.
I just realized we cook bacon and bake cookies, get it together English.
Does anybody know how to disable the autocorrect feature on my wife ?