Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Nothing shuts my pie hole more than an actual pie.
I`m gonna start a secret porn industry and call it "The Illuminaughty"
How to get a woman mad in 2 easy steps: 1. Take a picture of her. 2. Don`t show it to her.
You Are The Reason My Middle Finger Was Created.
Apparently, walking up behind a girl in the produce isle with celery in my hand and saying "I`m stalking you" was much funnier in my head.
I need an app that shows oncoming traffic on my touchscreen while I`m driving
Sometimes I feel as though my life should be documented for future generations.
When in darkness, pray. If you pray and nothing happens, I think it is the high time you paid your electricity bill.
Don`t know what to get your husband for Christmas? Whatever you give him, give it to him naked. Problem solved
Roses are red, violets are blue, If your parents told you you`re beautiful, they`re lyin to you..:D
I know it’s “cool” to make fun of celebrities, but the Bieber jokes need to stop. That’s somebody’s daughter.
Hedgehogs would seem far less adorable if they had more relevant names like `Stabbyrabbit` or `Weaponrat`
I`m still trying to get over the fact that oranges are pre-sliced by nature.
Maybe one day a loooong time ago a kid decided to play hide and seek with his pet Bigfoot but just didn`t explain the game properly.
mermaids swim by twerking do you ever just think about that