Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Life would be a lot easier if employers accepted excuses like “I’m sorry I can’t come into work today, I’m sleepy”
You say peeping tom. I say highly active member of the neighborhood watch.
If I had the money I`d hire 2 private investigators to follow each other
My mind is exceptionally quiet.... I am suspicious that I am up to something I don`t want myself to know about.
It isn`t until your kids start talking back that you realize dogs would`ve been a better option.
I slept like a rock last night, meaning I woke up in the flower bed with the house key under my belly.
The first snow of spring is always the most beautiful
A man made eye contact with me on the train, so I left my shoe behind ... And now, we wait...
Chess says everything about men and women. The King has to take things one step at a time, while the Queen can do whatever the hell she wants.
Every day is a constant battle of trying to convince myself I don’t like cookies.
If she owns more than 4 pairs of yoga pants, expect A LOT of text messages
3 Things you need to know: Yes I Have. Yes I Can. Yes I will.
My Status updates are so great people hit the like button twice
One thing that I have never had in the glove box of my car, is a pair of gloves.
Since everything is closed for Thanksgiving I’m going to drive around and park in all the good spots I never get.