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Wine: How classy people get trashed.
Life would be so much better if there were piñatas strategically placed throughout my day.
I just noticed me saying "LOL" everytime I`m laughing = facebook addict...lmao :)
I drink one glass of red wine a day for my health. The rest of the bottle is because I like being drunk.
If you feel down because you had a bad day! Chin up! Tomorrow is another day and the worst has yet to come!
The best way to deal with dumb people is to never leave your house sober
... and so begins another failed hundred or so attempts at trying to write the correct year on anything I date.
I`m no different than any other bachelor. I put my pants on one leg at a time and clean the house once every new girlfriend.
Recent survey asked people in the U.S if there are too many immigrants: 17% said yes, 83% said Lo siento, no hablan Inglés
Pretending I`m a pleasent person all day is exhausting
When I see someone yawn, I yawn. I wish it was the same with exercising....
Wanna ruin a girl’s day? Respond to her next text with “Who is this?”
Feeling a little sassy today...But then again, that`s everyday
I just witnessed a co worker eat a cupcake with no frosting ... What kind of devil worshiping nonsense is this?
It takes about 2.9 seconds for me to go from “this is the best day ever” to “I want to stab every person on planet Earth.”