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Why do they always have 5K runs for charity? Just once, couldn’t they have a sit for charity or nap for charity?
This woman is so impressed at my driving that she got next to me just to show me she’s not wearing a ring. Thanks hun, but wrong finger!
Finally got my Bon Jovi Sat Nav working... Wooahh we`re half way there.
Pretty cool how the internet lets you stay connected with people you haven`t seen in years and silently judge them on a daily basis.
Siri, destroy the vehicle in front of me.
I`m not saying women are smarter than men, but it`s kinda ironic that there`s so few known women serial killers and so many unsolved murders.
Girls here`s how to tell if a guy wants you for sex - 1: He does
Dear grumpy people: donuts are only $.99
Ever met a boring and stable girl who was good in bed? Exactly.
According to Debrah in HR, "Back up off my balls" is not the proper way to tell someone to wait for assistance.
I sold my house this week. I got a pretty good price for it, but it made my landlord mad as hell.
I could defuse a bomb if it sounded like an alarm clock and I was sleeping.
I don`t know what I would do without Facebook, but I`m sure it would be something more productive
I wish that life had an option for viewing other available episodes.
I`m convinced girls only want one thing from guys... all of our hoodies. -Bfanch