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Let`s simplify this. Deliver a pizza to me every night unless I call.
We can operate a robot on another planet, but yet I`m still struggling to get this vending machine to take my wrinkled dollar.
Groundhog Day, Just walked outside and saw my shadow, It`s now official, Six more weeks of dieting :/
Having plans sounds like a good idea until you have to put on clothes and leave your house...
My favorite part of Summer is the booze. Coincidentally, that`s my favorite part of the other 3 seasons, too.
I went to my local shop for a paper the other day. A guy out of no where started to throw eggs, cream and milk at me. I thought to myself how dairy?
All I ask is that if we arm the teachers, that the librarians get silencers.
Ok, I admit. Everything that`s wrong in your life is your fault.
Marriage. Because dodging your own family wasn`t enough.
I shurvivfed the dentisht wivout any notishable shide affecshss.
Pretty much the only time I want to hear about your ex is if she`s standing behind me with a weapon, other than that I`m good.
I guarantee there`s a pregnant teenager somewhere who thinks `Ebola` would be a lovely name for their child.
Raw eggs are great for a fitness diet. If you don`t like the taste, just add sugar, flour, cocoa and baking powder and bake for 30 minutes.
I really think there should be a separate driving lane for those of us running solely on caffeine and rage.
Let this be known as my Living Will. I do not wish to be cremated. If the Zombie Apocalypse happens I would like to be a part of it.