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I need to unbutton my pants just thinking about how much I’m going to eat this week.
Is glad Christmas is near i sure need new coloring books and crayons ..
Is it polite or rude to slide a note into the bathroom stall next to you that says, "heard you farting but it`s ok you`re in the right place :)"
Why must the phrase, "It is none of my business" always be followed by, "but"?
Do you know how many poisonous apples I`d have to give out before I was considered to be the fairest in the land?
I know the voices aren`t real but they have some great ideas.
If you receive an e-mail that says: ``FREE JUSTIN BIEBER CONCERT TICKETS`` Don`t open it! It may contain free Justin Bieber concert tickets.
It`s so cute how you can throw balls right at kids faces in the Chuck E Cheese ball pit and they think you`re just playing.
I bet short people get really excited when they accidentally hit their head on things.
My leadership experience is pretty much limited to those three consecutive days in first grade when I was line leader.
Technically, if you don`t cut the cake, it`s still just one slice.
Trying to remain humble but I’m the most famous person in my living room right now.
I need a new bad decision.
Just spent a week building a time machine. That’s seven days of my life I’m going to get back.
I know you’re supposed to have 3 balanced meals a day, but how many can I have at night?