Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I really shouldn`t have driven home from the bar last night. ..Especially since I walked there. :)
500 + friends... and not one of you saw where I put the remote?
My wife said we could have a three way "when pigs fly" so I showed her a police helicopter.
Google was first named, `BackRub`. If they hadn`t changed the name, we`d be saying, `I don`t know, go BackRub it.`
I dont mind if you call me Crazy, but dont you dare call me stupid. Because to be this crazy some intelligence is definitely required.
Some mornings I feel like leaving my coffee until its cold enough that I can just pour it directly into my eyes.
People who have more than 10 items in the express line… We see you and we are judging you.
Pretty sure nobody would run marathons if they were never allowed to talk about running marathons.
Some guy waved to me and then walked up and said, “Sorry, I thought you were someone else.” .... I said, “I am.”
People that are organized are just too lazy to look for things.
Quick question, ladies: If you shave your eyebrows off and then draw them back on, what the hell are you doing?
I`ll never fall in love untill and unless love falls on me!
I knew she was about to say something intelligent because she began with, "You once told me..."
Arguing in sign language must be a workout.
I just slid off the couch and lay on the floor for a while and eventually sat up without using my hands, is that a yoga class?