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A new study has found that women with larger butts live longer than men who mention it.
I can`t understand why women are okay that JCPenney has an older women`s clothing line named, "Sag Harbor."
Sure I have my doubts, but Bigfoot doesn’t have any pictures of me either.
I could really go for a beer and a million dollars.
Sarcasm. Because communicating with morons is hard.
We`re all here because we`re not all there...
My girlfriend told me that I’m starting to annoy her because I relate everything to batman ... What a Joker...
I need an emoticon that’s stabbing another emoticon in the eye with a pen while repeatedly punching it in its little emoticon balls.
When I was a child, I wanted to be a surgeon. But apparently I was too young
Saw a bug crawling on my arm and my reaction can only be described as “grabbing for swirling dollars inside a plexiglas Cash Cube.”
If he`s dumb enough to send you a generic message in a mass text...be smart enough to reply to all "I still haven`t gotten my period."
I wish that just once, the clerk would just put the Monopoly money in the drawer and hand me a receipt
I bought the world`s worst thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, it`s terrible.
Lightning is like God`s way of saying "Get out of that tree you pervert!"
I bought a little bag of air today, and the company that made it were kind enough to put some potato chips in it.