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Political debates are great if you want to watch idiots talk to us like idiots to prove that the idiot next to them is a bigger idiot.
When it comes to bug protection, you just can`t beat "OFF!".
I am dealing with it like an adult! Tonight I`m getting drunk!!!
The Swiss must`ve been pretty confident in their chances of victory if they included a corkscrew in their army knife.
Renewed my "Man Card" today, by going out in the cold, drizzly weather to cut firewood. In other news, police are investigating sightings of a chainsaw wielding maniac in the my area. I hope the catch that nut job!
People who wait 4 hours to reply to my text with "lol" should be shot.
How do you know if your girlfriend is getting fat?...She fits into your wife`s clothes.
Iām not brave. Iām just past the age where running is an option.
Swearing releases stress and that`s just one of the f*cking reasons I do it.
?"Oh! Oh! Oh!" Dyslexic Santa
My "To Do" list today only had one entry: "Nothing". And it took me all day to finish it!
Waterfalls are a beautiful, majestic sight as they pour down upon the rocky crags below. Unless you`re in a canoe and about to plummet to your death. Then waterfalls sorta suck.
Yes, my attitude could stand some improvement but my insurance does not cover those meds.
You`re right, you didn`t ask that guy for a d!ck pic, but nobody asked for hundreds of pictures of your face either.
Did you hear about the homeless guy that tried selling me meth?.... Yeah it was Bumcrack.