Daily Silly Status

Modern video games are giving kids unrealistic standards of how many swords they can carry at one time.

How to make a Vodka Christmas cake. . (Made mine this morning!!!!) 1 cup sugar, 1 tsp. baking powder, 1 cup water, 1 tsp. salt , 1 cup brown sugar, Lemon juice, 4 large eggs, Nuts, 1......bottle Vodka, 2 cups dried fruit. Sample a cup of Vodka to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the Vodka again to be... sure it is of the highest quality then Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point, it is best to

I use meditation and yoga to handle stress...Just kidding, I pop pills for that sh!t.

If you get angry, just take deep breaths and count to ten. Unless you`re angry about oxygen and numbers.

Oh honey, you`re not pretty enough to be that stupid

I wonder if anyone has watched Storage Wars and said, "Hey, that`s my stuff!"?

I don`t trust stairs. They always look like they`re up to something.

Some people hear voices.. Some see invisible people.. Others have no imagination whatsoever.

Just bought an exercise bike today because my treadmill works fine for laying my pants on, but it won`t accommodate hanging shirts on hangers.

It feels like one of them days..... ya know? When you wanna fart and blame the other person for it!

is without a doubt, the most popular and best looking person using this laptop.

When you`re a kid, dick jokes are considered adult content, but when you`re an adult, they`re considered immature.

In the morning there`s a huge difference between 6:00 and 6:05.

If you needed to wear camouflage in a gingerbread house, would you wear ginger snaps?

DiGiorno should start delivering, just to screw with people.